18SG. not for the faint hearted.

and so i was meant to wake up at 7 as usual to go to school at 9

and i just woke up

and the time now is11.51 am

why?

i had unpleasant dreams/nightmares again last night

this time i rmbr one of it SO clearly, i betta write it down before i forget

i was with mum, in our house which did not look like our house.
and we were gonna leave home to go to the pasar malam which is just down the street
(my house is like 50m from the tuesday pasar malam in teluk pulai)

we made sure everything was locked up,
we checked the doors a few times,
we even stuffed wood pieces into the little holes under the door to hold it,
like what happens when the floor cloth gets trapped under the door,
the door gets "stuck".
we were pretty worried to leave the house somehow,
i could actually feel the anxiety through the dream.

we even went over to my neighbour's house
(the neighbour who moved out 5 years ago)
and talked to the aunty to help us look after the house while we were out

seriously, we were just going to buy veggies at the pasar malam
getting ur neighbour to help look after the house is something we only do when we go down to penang to visit the rest of the family

and then we leave to buy our veggies
and when we get home,
we find the door slightly ajar.
and mum's like "huh? really got ppl come in ar?"
we looked down the varendah (dun ask me how we got there) and saw this guy in the living room,
and like ninja turtles, the both of us tried to be heroes and jumped over the varendah,
down into the living room where the dodgey guy was

and this somehow sounds funny now
but we ended up fighting with the guy
and mummy was so "useless"
she kept toppling over and getting hit herslef with every attempt of attacking the guy
which was odd, coz if it really did happen,
i think mum would be the hero and i'd be hiding behind her

and the guy was laughing
like some ham sap sex maniac
and i was very very scared
and then the attempts to attack and protect ourselves went on for a bit
mostly done by me coz mummy was so lembik in the dream
and then he toppled over somehow
and i recalled what we used to do in tae kwan do
and we'd aim for the eyes coz that's the easiest way to bring someone down

so i crawled over him (EEEUUU)
and grabbed a SCISSORS
which somehow appeared next to me lying on the floor
and start STABBING HIM IN THE RIGHT EYE
like STAB STAB STAB
and his stupid eye was like rubber
is just didn't want to burst
stab stab stab stab again
it just got gooey and oozy, all mushed up and redish black in the inside,
coz i had smashed up his pupil,
but the outer surface was still in one piece
and so i gave up and tried the other eye
stab stab stab!
same thing!
and he was LAUGHING his disturbing laugh ALL THE WAY!!!!

his eyes looked disgusting and that was the last thing i saw before i woke up and smacked my head right into the ceiling above me
(my bed is like 2 feet from the ceiling)
i didn't even dare to move the moment i hid my head back under the sheets
i just felt like if i moved i'd see the guy behind me
plus, my bed is the kind where you can look down to the stuff below you
and that reminded me of the part where mum and i looked down the varendah to find him there

that was nasty
i had to pray and talk myself to sleep and to calm down my tachycardic heart
where's the bf to cuddle up with in times like this u tell me
lol
well, that was really scary.

next thing u know,
i sleep through my alarm and wake up almost 5 hours late.
sighs.

how's that for a dream.
i don't know why i'm getting such insecure dreams
do i subconsciously feel that threatened and unprotected?
it doesn't make any sense.