every night when its too hot,
and i end up lying in bed awake for hours,
i spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting over lots of things.

let me share some of my thoughts with you.

1. while we call "no internet" or "not enough clothes" an issue, some people have REAL problems. no food. no water. no shoes for their feet. dying from diseases.
people are fighting to survive out there.
and here we are fighting to fit into the "happening" group.
and gosh the amout of winging we do about NOTHING!
apparently we have problems.
hm.


2. if you're struggling with lust and pornography now, and you can't even control your thoughts while you're single and on your own, do you actually think your plan to quit all that once you're married and settled down with kids and a family is actually going to work?
hm.

3. maybe Ps Dinesh was right. girls and guys really cannot be just "best friends" without any dramas. i alwz debated with him that he was wrong, and that i was possible! coz i had Matt for like 9 years now, and we've been fine. but then again, when i looked back at ALL the other "best friends" i made along the way who were guys, i realised that they all got complicated, and eventually they do what they do best, leave. he's just my bestest bestest best friend?
hm.

4. why do people deliberately hurt the people who matter the most to them, and treat other acquaintances better?people like family and other loved ones. why not spend time with them and open up to them like they do with others? don't they realise that saving face or ego really isn't worth the tension created and the hurt caused by harsh words and insensible behaviour? arrogance makes you feel like you're the smartest and most powerful person in your circle?
hm.

just some thoughts.
sorry if i've offended anyone.

***

yes, i'm still meant to write about my awesome weekend!
look forward to that, coz its gonna be bananas!

ps: i'll be heading down to adelaide tmrw :)
very very pleased.
gonna do lots of shopping,
catch up with lots of people,
and also have a ball at our company dinner on Saturday night with my colleagues!

apparently its gonna be cooler over the weekend,
and cooler = 38 degrees.
lol, now that's cool.
let's see how long this heatwave will be this year.
will it break last year's record?
i reckon it's gonna smash it easily.

that's all for now,
love u all and miss u all the time,
shaleen in 45 degree port augusta.

i have the tools to mend.

the same tools i had in my hands all this while.

but this time, i don't have the heart.






****

i know i'm meant to write about my weekend right now,

but if you just give me a couple more days,

i promise i'll write you something more exciting to read.

:)

much love, shaleen.

sunny thursday morning

good morning world.

woke up waaaayy before the sun came up this morning.

did my little bit of studying.

and then i'm off to work in half an hour.

today is gonna be a long day at work, with a 9am - 6.30pm shift.

work is.. alright i suppose.

a little mundane. perhaps a little too routine for me as well.

don't really like the idea of being stuck in a building 38 hours a week.

well, gotta be patient love. it's only been a couple of weeks.
you've got a WHOLE career ahead of you.

finally got my study table and bookshelf in.

a nice old lady and her husband helped me get squeeze it through my room door last night.
had a few little dramas here and there, a couple of little wounds as well lol
but its all good.

at least now i can start sorting and filing up all my study material and kickstart my studying which is terrific.

should be buying a washing machine soon. phew.
i really cannot imagine how the women back then washed EVERY SINGLE THING with their hands.
2 weeks of scrubbing my clothes and i'm screaming my brains off already.
*salutes the women of the "stone age"*

will write more tonight about my upcoming weekend.

love, shaleen

i can't wait till March.

just to see my dad and my sis.

and belle too.

just over a week left of living alone.

been a good long day.

but just within this 5 minutes i feel absolutely exhausted.physically.emotionally.

bedtime.

looking forward to tomorrow :)

snip...


.... died...

.....

...

sigh

trust me to cry over a crab, really.

no thanks to your 40+ heat, Port Augusta.

and he was JUST starting to grow his new legs and shed his skin.

but no, you had to fry him alive in the house while i was out at work.

gah.

my crab

:(

update

this is gonna be the most unimpressive post ever
but oh well, i gotta update and i so don't have the time to garnish it with flowery words
so this time we'll have it in point form!
LOL

1. Port Augusta
- quiet
- reminds me of my grandma's
- majority of the people are my parents age or older
- barely any asians
- HOT, couple of degrees hotter than Adelaide
- a real country town
- not much shopping options
- no full on public transport
- absolutely windy
- beautiful views of the sea

2. House
- 2 Bedroom house
- kitchen has an oven (yay!)
- backyard has mandarin oranges, grapes and lime in abundance
- room is HUGE, 3 times the size of the room in adelaide
- 15 minute killer cycle uphill or on rocky grounds against the wind to the CBD where groceries are bought and work is
- scary at night when the wind is really really strong
- backyard needs lots of work
- room still needs a study desk and a bookshelf

3. work
- long hours
- full day on my feet
- still screwing up till today
- boss reckons i'm doing good so far which is comforting
- love my diana ferrari shoes, really glad i'm not wearing novos
- still don't have a uniform, looking forward to my white coat and nametag
- takes up all my time, don't have much time to do anything else

4. other stuff
- got myself 5 new books in 2 weeks *heart*
- my push bike is called jade, she's a blue dunlop and she braves the wind with me on a daily basis
- have a little keyboard now, can't seem to keep my hands off it
- i'm allowed to use the piano in church everyday during my lunch break *jumps*
- going down to visit Michelle in Cleve this weekend, and take her for a drive around the Eyre Peninsula
- snip's molting, he's growing new legs to replace the ones i smashed, and i need to get him a bigger shell coz he's running around naked at the moment
- still don't have a washing machine or a microwave, life's hard without these little gadgets.

5. emotionally
- mixed
- braving the change better than i expected
- realised how loved and blessed i am and how many great friends i have
- missing Adelaide heaps and finally appreciating how important it is to cherish your loved ones around you.
- fired up to improve myself at work
- miss home as always
- feels odd to not be busy making CNY cookies with mummy now.

all in all i'm good.
God is opening so many doors of opportunity for me.
i'm more excited than ever.

this is only the begining.

dear Matthew

i'm challenging u to a "race" cycle up that crazy hill to the puncak seni in Bukit Cahaya the next time i come back.

:P

if i win, you're coming with me to the dentist.

train up sweetie.

*winks*

happy bday jon koh :)

7 hours to go
spending my day reading and watching some tv,
from intense action with the Brisbane International,
to laughing my brains off at Ellen DeGeneres and her nonsense.
if you have never watched her TV show,
you should give it a go.
She is ABSOLUTELY bananas.
good stuff.

Really glad everything is done,
no need to rush anything last minute.
meant to get a haircut and go to ikea today,
but i decided to stay home instead and get some rest.
Its been a crazy week,
running up and down,
driving from one end to the city to the other,
packing, paperwork, seeing people off, helping others move, etc etc etc

staying home for the day might just be exactly what i need.

:)

Wee Li and Lynn are driving me to Port Augusta tonight.
They'll stay with me tonight and then they'll leave tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning Jia Ching is driving up with more of my stuff.
He'll stay over with me on Saturday night and make his way back to Adelaide on Sunday.

How amazing is that?
How spoilt am i really?
Spoilt by the people i have around me.

i have no words to describe how grateful I am to have people who offer to help me to this extent.
and not just offering, in stead insisting without any intention of taking no for an answer.
Even when i never asked for any help.
I had even booked my bus ticket and almost confirmed my freight.
but ended up canceling all those arrangements.

****

Was feeling a lil nervous this morning.
Receiving Nest's message on facebook turned my morning around.
Its good to hear wise words from someone who has been through the same journey and emotions that comes with it.
i think i need to be really patient with this move.
its a brand new start,
and i really should take it slow instead of rushing into things just to try to fit in.

the amazing things your friends would do for you, huh?
have i made you go "WOW" already?
:)

Receiving all this love makes me want to pour out more love for people around me.
coz doesn't it feel just great receiving love?
i want people to feel the same way when they receive my love too.
:)

Thank you guys,
i cannot thank you enough :D

*****

have not mentioned anything about my new year resolutions, huh?
been too busy to talk about anything here on this blog.

well, i've never made new year resolutions.
but this year i made 5.
and they all seem pretty sensible and realistic.

here, have a look :

1. Lose another 8 kilos to get back to my initial weight before coming to Adelaide.
2. Kickstart my dream to make a difference in the lives of those in need.
3. 2 hour session of Swim or any Sport once a week.
4. Learn up about the history of Christianity and understand the different denominations.
5. Stop being lazy to use my brain. (Mr Chia's challenge for me)

what do you think?
:)

the closing of another chapter

so this is the last day in Adelaide.
Don't have much time to write about my last 2 years in Adelaide.
but one thing i must say,
i am blessed to have met so many amazing people here who have taught me so much.

here are some pictures just to summarize the last 2 years:






























*****

let me introduce you to a song from "Wicked"
really wanted to watch it in Melbourne,
but i couldn't afford the ticket.
such a shame.

such a beautiful song,
and it goes out to everyone who has walked my 2 year journey in Adelaide with me
just thought i'd share the words of the song with you :

I'm limited:
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us
Now it's up to you:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

And because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.

******
thank you Adelaide.
You sure have changed me for good :)
goodbye for now,
i will miss you.

lonely morning

barely slept last night, waiting for Lucas's call.

Finally called at 3, and we headed down to the airport at 4.30.

virgin blue should really consider opening more counters here in the adelaide airport.

So Lucas is off on his new adventure.

Just got his text from Sydney.

I miss him terribly.

Andrew and i don't seem to be clicking since we said our goodbyes in Melbourne.

Saturation? Perhaps.

Will time heal? Perhaps.

I miss him terribly too.

*******

Another long day with lots to do.

7.30 in the morning and not only am i physically tired,
this time the heart feels heavy too.

should get a little rest. hopefully some sleep.
and set the heart and mind right again for the day.

my long day starts at 9.30 when Abel comes over to help me remove my furniture from the room.

2 days to Port Augusta.

My own adventure is about to begin,
and the words that God clearly spoke into my life recently is that 2009 is going to be anything but easy,
but there's nothing too difficult or painful that my Jesus and I cannot handle together.

Such a powerful promise.
Hallelujah.

:)

farewell to my superman

sigh.

why do we torture ourselves seeing off the people we love really.

should just let them walk away on their own to persue their dreams.

why go through all the agony of watching them walk away from you and step into a plane and finally disappear from your sight.

I'm sending Lucas off to Sydney tmrw.

can anyone tell that i'm not all that excited?

don't go Lucas Lee... :'(

come to Port Augusta with me instead..

don't go....

:'(

wooosh

gosh i need a vacation

oh, i just had one.

maybe i need another one.

i'm SOOOO tiredddddddd!!!!!!!!!

well there's no time for anymore vacations,

maybe i should give good old Mother a shot.

i'm so tired its not even funny.

finally finished my packing.

still so much left to do!!

paperwork.

applications.

move my furniture out.

clean up the house.

my house looks like a war zone, like seriously.

its such a MESS with me and my housemate's bf moving out.

boxes, suitcases, bags, parcels, things everywhere!

Shelley sent her friend Reuben off to Singapore for good today, and come home a lil down.
and now she's going on and on about how i should not leave to Port Augusta.
i must admit when people keep telling me not to leave,
it does burden me a little not to.
right now, i've gotten over the whole "i don't wanna leave" phase.
and i really hope i don't sink back into reluctance when people start bidding me goodbye.

but i must say that this nomadic lifestyle is ABSOLUTELY draining.
not only physically, but emotionally.
but i suppose this is a phase in life all of us will go through at some point in life.
somehow i see myself being nomadic for the rest of my life.
while one part of my heart wants to settle down and have a stable and constant life,
the other part has so many dreams which makes settling down anything but an option.

one step at a time, i shall not be hasty.

alright, what's the next task on my list.

hmmmm.

back to your cleaning sweetie.

:)

"ok nobody move!!!"

sounds like we're in a bank robery scene right

but no larr...

we just had our own little adventure during our attempt to dismantle my loft bed in an 8x7 feet big room.

4 of us, clinging onto the wobbly bed, coordinating as best as we could to flip it over.

Next thing we know, we hear a huge crash and the lights go off.

the hot bulb falls right onto josh's foot.

the room was pitch black.

i could hear Shel scamper out of her room.

the door was shut and lisha was caught in the little corner right next to the door.

Lisha eventually managed to squeeze out through the little door opening and Shel came to the rescue with a torch light.

all's good.

just gotta call up the landlord tmrw to have a look at the damage of the light and the walls.

might pop over to bunnings to see if i can find a replacement for the light instead.

might be cheaper perhaps?

lol how funny to think of it now.

a huge thank you to josh and li sha and handy man, mr Handy Goh No for helping

there was no way i could have done it without ur help.

and smashing the lamp was exciting!
gonna hurt my wallet, but i'm sure that'll be something we'll rmbr for quite some time now huh?

challenge of the week:

letting go.

******

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands and watch you rise

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me, we truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly

So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly.

~ credits to Mariah Carey for such a beautiful description of feelings which matches what's currently on my mind

***

i've never eaten out so much in my life like i have been throughout this week

new years i had vietnamese + jackfruit smoothies
and another dose of indian tempations for dinner with shelley, handy, and another 2 friends.

then the next morning, jia ching brought jacky and i for italian breakfast.
it was so huge, it could have been a lunch, for real.
had maccas for dinner with my beloved fellow chindian, Michelle.

Saturday had dinner at Hog's Breath with fellow pharmers from SIT,
Mun Kit, Keth Lyn, Any, Yi Wen, Wai Mun, Carolyn and Amy.
Amy and i shared massive lamb shanks and a beautiful Banoffie Pie for desert.

Sunday, Mae and i had lunch at Astor with all the men from Life group.
Jia Ching, Jacky, Abel, Alvin Liew, and Jimmy.
Then all the ladies arrived not too long later:
Jane, Ruth and Hui Ling.
Had my 2nd dose of salt and pepper squid of the month.
yum! :D

Sunday night was dinner with more SIT pharmers at E-Shan.
food wasn't great.
Desert at Buddha Bar was TERRIBLE.
but the company of Siow, Ju-Lear, David, Gerald and little Ron was amazing.

Tonight will be the last dinner with my favourite Lucas Lee
:( :( :(
i sooo don't wanna see him off to Sydney on Wednesday.

more eating to come when koko Wei Jin finishes his exam on Wednesday,
and when Megan gets home on thursday!

then its off to Port Augusta on Friday!

eyre peninsula

when the 5 of us made our way around the eyre peninsula last year,

it never did occur to me that i would EVER have to live or be anywhere close to such a beautiful place

now i'm like at the gateway to eyre peninsula,

i must say, i AM quite excited :D

here is a sneak peak of the many stops we made at the beautiful eyre peninsular in spring 2007

tumby bay

can't rmbr the name of this place
but it was breathtakingly, phenomenally, magnificently beautiful

stairway to heaven 1

the stairs all the way down to the coastline

stairway to heaven 2

cowell




cleve! this is where michelle is at the moment :D

kimba, which marks the middle of the whole Australian continent


this picture is from google.. coz i don't have a copy of the pics we took at whalers way


whalers way

can't rmbr the name of this rock sculpture place

this is going to be an amazing year.

i know it is.

Time to grow up sweetie.

ps: jon koh turns 26 on friday!!! OMG!