who says God never answers prayers.

This week i hit rock bottom.

I had just received a job offer in Darwin the day before and was terribly confused on whether i should accept the offer or not.

Knowing that i had another interview today, i kept my options open, although today's interview would be for two rural towns- Whyalla in South Australia, and Broken Hill in New South Wales.

If i had to choose i'd choose Darwin.

On top of that my heart was not right.

I was struggling with relationship issues, demanading decisions and actions that would would cause a major conflict,

and possibble the loss of a loved one,

but which would save me from drowning any further if only i was brave enough make my stand.

I felt pressured.

Pressured to do what was right to save myself from the agony i was leading myself into.

At the same time i feared the world.

I felt vulnerable.

I felt so unprotected.

Being brought up and nurtured in a loving environment,

my parents made every effort to protect me from worldly things.

Although i did not grow up in a Christian family,

I was brought up to know what was right and what was not.

but because of my inquisity over the past half of a decade of my life,

i find myself wading into dark waters,

discovering and poking my way into the dark ends of this world today,

the ends which mum and dad tried so hard to protect me from.

And the things i see... how painful...

the world today is so broken..

i find myself being dragged into this brokenness.

dragged along emotionally unwillingly.

too much to have on my mind in the midst of preparation for my exam on Tuesday.

so i decided to take the whole evening off studying.

I spent my midnight driving Andrew up the wall.

Earlier on i went bananas with Ern Chee over dinner,

right after dinner i burst into fountains of tears with Marabelle.

Yes, terribly unstable.

i found myself waking up at 6 am this morning, with merely 3 hours of sleep.

my phone was dead over the hours of crying with Belle.

I woke up anxious. Stressed. Hurt. Confused. Lonely.

Failed to regain any sleep for the next half an hour.

Through the tears i felt prompted to pray.

and so i did.

Out loud on the top of my lungs voice and body all shaky,

i prayed.

and prayed.

and prayed.

3 hours later,

I get another offer.

not even something i expected.

I'm going to Port Augusta.

a very busy community pharmacy which caters to a lot of mental health patients.

spoke to Helen, my preceptor/mentor,

and she's bubbly,

so bubbly.

now i know understand why the human resource manager said that i'd fit in very well in port Augusta.

My parents are relieved.

I didn't know they were so worried about me.

Hallelujah.

Finally,

its been an 8 month long battle.

All Glory to God.