when the heart decides to speak..

so i turned on my old phone today

and started scrolling through old messages which i had not deleted since the last time i used it

dated roughly 2 years ago, before i left for Adelaide.

such warmth.

packed with sincerity, love and care.

no bitterness, no barriers, no hatred.

no jealousy, no ego, no lies.

full of encouragement and assurance.

i can still recall u reassuring me one night that we'd never grow apart despite the distance or circumstances.

and we worked hard on it.

we danced through every season together, hand in hand.

but after these 2 and a half weeks,

i'm starting to get the vibes that over the years,

unfortunately, we indeed have grown apart.

we're just dry. cold. brittle.

arrogance and ego reign.

love has been locked up and put away.

secrets and tales corrupt and threaten to rob the relationship of its innocence and trust.

miserable, indeed.

i used to believe u'd always walk this journey with me.

now i doubt if you'd prefer the option of walking away..

i've lost the sense of security in you, my friend.

i keep telling myself that its there,

but despite the trying,

i just don't feel it anymore.

and as the music haunts this new season and phase in life,

i reach out, wanting to dance with you once more,

only to find that maybe i should start to learn to dance on my own this time..

i miss you.
the you i got drawn to care for.

i miss us.
us being the great inseparable pair of buddies who used to bring immense joy to each other's lives.

can we be restored?

am i doing something wrong?