lets get it started

alright woman

vacation's over

time to get ur butt up, wipe your tears and get this shifting started.

challenge for the day :

pack up another quarter of my room.

alone or not, you've got work to do.

now move it!

ps: what's with the gloomy depressing winter lookalike 17 degrees in adelaide at like 9.30 am

seriously

it should be sunny, with birds chirping to welcome me home for my very last 10 days in adelaide!

and another ps: some ppl are just !@*(&#!(@^$!^@%

*****

this is it,
Shaleeni is on the 8.30am bus from Adelaide to Port Augusta on the 9th of January 2009.

*******

i'm pretty sure the question on everyone's mind right now is:

where's andrew?

andrew's gone back to Brisbane to spend the new year and the last couple of days with his cousin.

so i'd just like to use up a little space in this post to appreciate a good friend of mine, who made me cry buckets at the airport when he left me in this dry land.
not once, but TWICE.
yes, i did tell myself not to, but why struggle to hide emotions when they're genuine?
its perfectly normal to feel the loss when someone leaves you, isn't it?


good memories, young man.

you've made an impact on my life, and for that i thank you.

i hope i've done your trip justice.

if i have not, i sincerely apologise.

get home safe.

i'm sure your family misses you.

when the heart decides to speak..

so i turned on my old phone today

and started scrolling through old messages which i had not deleted since the last time i used it

dated roughly 2 years ago, before i left for Adelaide.

such warmth.

packed with sincerity, love and care.

no bitterness, no barriers, no hatred.

no jealousy, no ego, no lies.

full of encouragement and assurance.

i can still recall u reassuring me one night that we'd never grow apart despite the distance or circumstances.

and we worked hard on it.

we danced through every season together, hand in hand.

but after these 2 and a half weeks,

i'm starting to get the vibes that over the years,

unfortunately, we indeed have grown apart.

we're just dry. cold. brittle.

arrogance and ego reign.

love has been locked up and put away.

secrets and tales corrupt and threaten to rob the relationship of its innocence and trust.

miserable, indeed.

i used to believe u'd always walk this journey with me.

now i doubt if you'd prefer the option of walking away..

i've lost the sense of security in you, my friend.

i keep telling myself that its there,

but despite the trying,

i just don't feel it anymore.

and as the music haunts this new season and phase in life,

i reach out, wanting to dance with you once more,

only to find that maybe i should start to learn to dance on my own this time..

i miss you.
the you i got drawn to care for.

i miss us.
us being the great inseparable pair of buddies who used to bring immense joy to each other's lives.

can we be restored?

am i doing something wrong?

shaleeni is...

alive and well

having her well deserved vacation

heading back down to adelaide on the 15th

heh

lazy to write

will post some pics soon

bye all

*blows kisses*

12 hours

hello all

shaleeni leaves Malaysia tonight

i'll miss u.

already am.

lets not grow apart, shall we.

i love u all.

uproot.

i forgot that i was in the process of pulling everything out from the roots.

Instead i've strayed away and been feeding, nurturing and watching it grow.

and as it lives and gets sturdier, day by day i die a little more on the inside.

is realising this 1 day before i head off on my own again a little too late?

i think it is.

i'm stepping into the wrong battlefield.
this battle should not be mine to fight.
i need to leave.
coz there are some things in life not worth fighting against which we just need to run from.

i look ahead and all i see is pain.
then why do i still want to go there?

is it that hard to act on a decision that will save your soul from rejection and hurt?

uproot it Shaleen.
just do it.
please.
It'll only hurt for a while.

reluctance

Today i remembered how blessed i am to live in peace.

No living in fear every moment of the day, wondering what my next step would bring me into.

No playing with my mother without knowing that i might never see her again the moment i take my eyes of her.

No watching people killed and tortured in front of my very own eyes.

No need to hide away in hidden dungeons to try to live just for another day.

No looking at the table to find no food on it, that is, if there even is a table.

No walking barefooted on the burning grounds which sting my tender feet.

No constant running from enemies which are unseen.

I cannot bear imagining the agony.

What can i do with these humble hands to help these people.

What can i do with the knowledge and skills i've yet to master.

What can i do with so much more to equip and prepare myself with.

i don't know.

i helplessly don't know at this point..

Heavenly Father, i pray for Your people.

You've given me the heart,

and my one desire is to give it ALL back to You.

use me in Your time, i will follow.

the last 4 days

so much to do with so little time

i can't believe i'm going back there in 4 days!

Only God knows when i'll get to come back next.

I've even only bought a one way ticket this time.

urgh

even the thought of it makes me sick in the stomach.

well, there's no turning back i guess..

and like it or not,

the truth is that the moment i get my PR,

there's no way i'm gonna be settling down here in Malaysia in the next 5 years or so at least.

five.

such a harsh number.

will i ever lose my affection towards home like many others do after a certain number of years in a foreign country?

what if i do?

********

step by step Shaleen.

lets get through this phase first.

*******

ps: pharmers, i've FINALLY dyed my hair. and i'm hating it. heh.

great days are made of these..

breakfast with a feast of juicy mangoes plucked fresh from the tree in my garden

chasing and catching grasshoppers

playing with touch-me-not's and watching them shut with each gentle touch

Robin Koh's breakfast call

Andrew Chan's very exciting bank adventure

another session of productive shopping for aussie aussie aussie

the great company of Ng Ke Xin and mr Jon Koh

bowling where i did a personal best of 144 points
(i've never been a decent bowler)

prune and honey bubble tea and Macca's fries (with LOADS of sauce)

a 100m sprint home thanks to very upset Klang street dogs

My attempt for an extreme makeover with mummy's help which didn't turn out right

4 hours bickering and wrestling with Matthew Lee

Mi goreng, satay and sirap limau ais

and the thought of spending tomorrow with Matt, Rob and a surprise meet up with THANU!

Ahhhhhhhhhh

how blessed am i?

like totally.

i'm so glad i'm done with all the shopping for things to bring back to aussie

my pocket is dry, like seriously dry

today marks the end of spending

boy, am i glad.

i foresee tonnes of eating for the next few days.

sorry Andrew Chan, no hot skinny bikini babe walking next to u on our vacation la huh.
i cannot resist the food.


i love my life in Klang.
do i really have to go back to Australia next week?

1. earphones
2. blouse
3. bikini
4. reebok trainers
5. heaps of hair clips
6. undies

all at bargains!
ok maybe except the earphones.

productive shopping is TIRING.

why am i feeling so exhausted!?

next on my shopping list:

1. socks
2. international adapters
3. more tops
4. face sunblock
5. medicines and first aid
6. hat
7. beach thongs

kiss my hard earnt money goodbye.
but better buy it here while its cheaper!