Saturday, July 5, 2008

symptoms of exhaustion

when u doze off in the bus, to the extent that you RISK missing your stop..
when u walk and not notice that ur going sideways and RISK getting run over by a motorcycle..


..you KNOW that u need a holiday!!!

but oh well, news flash, the holiday is over for you miss jayamani.

wait, what holiday??

didn't feel like a holiday to me for sure!


A couple of friends and i did a little performance yesterday, and we were pretty unprepared...
if you know me reasonably well, u'll know how PARANOID i am about the
"PERFECTNESS" of any performance i do..
this time,we barely practiced,
and we did not even practice all together before the show.
NOT EVEN ONCE.
with no sound check either.
plus, i didn't know the lyrics to my part too well...
and i had a HORRIBLE feeling in my gut that i was gonna mess up
nervous as hell,all i did was say a little prayer in my heart reminding myself that i'm the daughter of a KING and that i can do all things despite the circumstances.

in my opinion, we ( or shall i say i..) did pretty badly.
not only did the two singers have absolutely no chemistry throughout the whole song,
the musicians fumbled with their chords as well.
plus, i found myself singing a little $#*@)#)ly here and there and
running out of breath due to BAD phrasing..
i felt quite sorry that it didn't turn out to be as phenomenal as we pictured it to be.


but today, i had people coming up to me telling me that i sang really well and that they truly enjoyed it

i'm like HUH??
SERIOUSLY???!??
BUTT WE WERE SOOOOO UNPREPARED!!!

and they go on saying that the spontaneity made the whole thing PERFECT.

*jaw drops*

all i could do was smile and say thank you for the encouragement.

praise God for that.
truly a burdern lifted off my shoulders.

its amazing how when we commit things to God,
although some things don't go as planned, it always turns out good eventually...
it's like God has His amazing yet gentle ways of turning what may seem as our "failures" into something which can still touch people's lives without us even realizing.

if only i could tune myself to listen more to the truth instead of dwell in the lies of the enemy which does nothing but strip the joy and confidence from my life.

Thank You for Your gentle reminder of how perfect i am in your eyes, especially at times when i think so lowly about myself.

and i love it that i remember now :)


*blows kisses to heaven*

1 comment:

aehknum said...

I'm sure Daddy God couldn't help but smile and proud of you when He hears you from heaven. We always tend to think that we screw things up, but in the end, actually it was not too bad, as long as we do our best. And its not us what, but His name to be glorified =)