tyrande's gone...

tyrande just died
just a couple of days ago i was holding him in my arms
and he followed me everywhere i went
guess he missed me when i was away

seriously, who blogs right after their precious cat passes away??
i don't know
but i just feel so so so so upset!!
i saw him suffer, heard him cry, tried to force him to drink so he wouldn't die
and when daddy came home, tyrande started crying so much louder
and panting harder
and getting weaker by the minute
i was so scared!!

how did this happen then?
its so sudden!!!!!
mt whole family just cried a pool of tears
seeing mum and dad cry really showed how much they loved that naughty and lovable cat

i can still hear him crying in my head

was he in pain??
i don't know!!!
i'm so upset!!!
i can't even stop crying!!

i feel so alone right now...

:'(

tyrande is sick!!!!
and its totally scary

he sits in the dark and pants and moans and drools all day
and does nothing else
he's not eating
neither is he drinking
he's gotten so skinny
and weak

i'm so so so worried!!!
is he gonna die if he keeps refusing to eat????

*SOB*

i totally understand why my dad gets so worried every time something bad happens to me now


THIS FEELS HORRIBLE!!!

hug me, kiss me, and tell me that its gonna be ok..

its been 12 days
never once i felt ashamed of how i looked,
all because i knew how much i'm worth

the scabs have mostly peeled, revealing fresh pink skin
today i touched my skin, and noticed how bruised it was
for once i looked at myself and to me, it looked awful.
ironic huh.
why is it that i'm starting to get anxious now when its healing beautifully well?

many friends have asked me how i could walk around in public, malls, restaurants with my face looking like this
i wish some of them could understand how the peace and joy of God strips away all shame and fear

but now that i've said that, why do i actually start to fear?
why is it that i find myself doubting that my skin is gonna be alright and better than ever?
could it be frustration?
after all the years of skin care due to acne, and just when it gets better i hurt my face worse than i've ever did?
could it be jealousy,
with all the others who barely put any effort, but have a perfect complexion?

i don't know
but i don't like what i feel
i need to fix my eyes back to the God
and not to the ways of the world

Dear Lord, remind me, tell me, convince me,
that its all gonna be alright
i wanna trust You like i did the moment my face hit the ground

best day since i fell off my bike :)

boy oh boy oh boy!!!!
what a fabulous (and tiring) day!!!!

i'm too lazy to blog, so just gonna lazily type out the highlights of my day :)

got treatment free at the doc's this morn

went kai-kai with jolene, bought heaps of junk for the lovelies in malaysia

lunch with koko wei jin and the other girls for his bday!! indian food!!

surprised by YONG YI SUNG!!!! who came back to visit!! :) :) so happy!!

Ethiopian dinner with Megan and Amna as crazy to-die-for desert pizza!!

owh!!! what a day:)

and another awesome one tmrw with our brunch party, lunch with daniel and oxygen at night

yes i'm gonna be very very fat if i go on eating at this rate :P

cry with me, will you

zhu-jinn's mum passed away today

i'm dying to fly home on tmrw's 11.55 am flight

but dad's right, there's nothing i can do and i'm just gonna hurt my wounds more

but but but....

:' (

i'm actually glad i fell off the bike now,

or i'd never be able to be with my best friend through her loss..

yes, i hurt myself

the 5 most frequent questions i've received this week:

1. Not pain ar??
2. Scared anot?
3. How you can tahan??
4. Cry anot?
5. How on earth can u still laugh and joke now?????????????????


well.
my answer to you:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philip 4.6-7)


because i'm anointed with the oil of joy.

and my life is in the hands of my Jesus.

and i trust in Him in ALL circumstances.

and just remembering that brought me all the way through all the pain and discomfort, with joy.

isn't God good?

: )

and so i've finished my elective 401
today's presentation didn't go too well
i found myself struggling to find words.
i don't know why. i was pretty prepared.
well, its over and done, just try harder in the next presentation hey.

placement in Flinder's Medical Hospital starts on Monday!!
i must admit i'm nervous as hell.
i've never been a confident pharmacy student in terms of my therapeutics.
its like i've studied them all, but i just can't remember most of it!
everything sounds familiar, but i still gotta look it up!!
how on earth am i gonna survive in a hospital setting at this rate.
i need to do something about it.
so yea, the next few days are gonna be spent looking through my placement book.
and to revise as much of last year and this year's therapeutics materials as possible.
i'm reaaaaalllyy scared.

but hey, on the bright side, i won't have to bother thinking of what to wear for the next 4 weeks!
yippeee!!
unisa pharmacy student polo T for 4 weeks.
sounds good to me!
i honestly enjoy the thought of having a "uniform"
yes, i'm wierd.
love it.

haha.
been a good girl today.
went for my swim.
only did 2K though..
getting lazy to do huge mileages
but i did push myself harder though in terms of speed

i shall swim again tmrw..
and set a sensible goal of 2.1K
alrights.
sweet dreams darlings.
jayamani's baby is going to bed.

i feel like going home

stage one of year 4. cleared.

I PASSED MY FINAL PAPERS!!!!
a lil lower than expectations..
BUT I'M TOTALLY GRATEFUL AND EXCITED!!!!
i can barely sit stil!!!
it was soooooooooo hard i am NOT kidding you...
but i made it through!!
yay!!

and now i betta start working harder on my 35% presentation on tuesday before i'm doomed.

one more step

"DELETE"

weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Ps 30:5

Nobody else knows.
but God, u know.
My disobedience has caused enough grief over the years.
I'm so amazed on how You never give up on me.
Regardless of the million times i've tried to run and hide from you.
I heared You this time.
Crystal clear.
and i choose to listen this time.

my Joy comes from none other than You.
i trust in you.

8th May 2008

i still recall how you'd be soooooooo annoyed when we kept calling you this in std 1
and yes, who can ever forget the memorable experience of having an unintentional shower in
std one while we had to beratur in front of the kedai buku next to the wall with the nice painting.
sorry lar...
its been 15 years dei..

you've always been the sweetest one in our group.
even up to today, u still live up to the title "the cutest and sweetest one"
we've all grown so much la..
i'm so glad we're still in touch.
happy 22nd bday zel :)
missing u from here

stole the pic from jinn's blog.. hence the fonts...
aw.. looks like we never really grew..
i always feel like we're still in std 1 around u guys :)

we breathe................ gases...... urgh

i was bored ok.
so i ended up looking up flatulence on wikipedia.LOL
for those who wonder what the pleasant sounding jargon above means,
it simple means fart.
Yes, the thing your brother does like all day long.
and the occasional whiffs of odd smells you get when mum and dad just feasted on durian..
ring any bells.
uhuh, yup, exactly what ur thinking right now.

so yea i looked it up. and really, i found it so hilarious!!!!!!
i was literally chuckling and throwing my head back laughing to myself reading it.

Seriously farting must be totally funny to me.
or maybe the writer who wrote that article bout it on wiki is just one joker.

Depending upon the relative state of the sphinter (relaxed/tense) and the positions of the buttocks, this often results in a crackling or trumpeting sound, but gas can also be passed quietly.

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how descriptive :p

And then it goes on to explain the various gasses in a fart
i couldn't stop my curious mind from going,
"means they kumpul the gas from someone's bum and test ar???"
EEEEUUUUUUU
but hey, i'm sure that's what they HAD to do at some point to find that out...
the sacrifices ppl make for science..

and the highlight of the article...

Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus. While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions, 90-95% of that is released by exhaling or burping This means only 1–2% of global methane emissions come from livestock flatus.

ok i'm getting a feeling that i'm the ONLY one who finds this funny.
and that EVERYONE else is totally grossed out..

but yea.. one day when ur having a bad bad day..
go have a laugh!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence

ok sorry!!!
i won't talk bout flatulence ever again!
not on my blog!

i love :)

the awesome worship team of oxygen..
everyone looks so happy..
except wee li.. with his xylophone
er, maybe that's how he expresses his happiness.
i think i blocked abel. oops.
all the guys wanna stand behind me, when they KNOW i'm taller..
kiasu ar.. hehe
i miss camp!!!!!!!

extreme makeover

ok maybe the title is a little exaggerated

check out my acne last year.

now lets have an uncensored view of how bad my acne was in 2007

seriously acne is anything but fun.
Not only does it hurt and that it's such a hassle (skincare etc)
it made me feel really dirty and frustrated as well.
even sarah looks disgusted in the pic..
like "uurrrgghh~!! why the pimple face so near mine!! spread to me how!!??"
lol

but hey, one year from then...

things are looking a little brighter :)
check out the pic below..
right after i got up from my beauty sleep..
that's when my skin feels the best.. smoother, i must say..
ignore the messy hair and the messy room and the bathroom behind me..
and just observe the SKIN.
must agree with me that its better hey?
not perfect.. but better..??


well the pic above is a lil decieving tho..
looks fairer from the sunlight coming thru my bedroom window..
so decided to try another pic under the influence of white light in the bathroom..
yes.. i combed my hair.. but i still look extremely sleepy though..
well, the scars are still all over the cheeks.. with some red and black spots here and there..
but its SOOOOOO much better than last year..
i'm so so so so relieved!!!!
the agony and diligence abiding to my skin care routine has finally paid off!!


so it's all smiles!!!
lets hope it continues to get better over the next many years!!!
and one day i will get to experience smooth skin with no bumps like most others do :)
can't wait for that day to come : )

thank you mummy and daddy for helping me deal with this.
and taking the trouble to shuttle me to and fro for treatment.

i shall leave u with siew ghee's signature show-all-your-teeth smile!!
seriously!!
the SKIN!!!!
yippeee : )

ain't life great?? :)

nostalgia

aw.... good times....
came across this vid of jon and ka fai randomly jamming
they're so awesome la
even crappy just for fun playing always sound phenomenal :)
miss our band heaps :(

thaddeus is back!!!!

yes the title says it all!!
Thadduesssssssssss is back in adelaide!!
How cool is that!!! like so cool!!
can't wait to meet up with him and lucas.
and go play badminton!!
or swim!!
or makan!!
or anything!!!!!

last night while i was wasting my life away on msn,
it was the very first time i was actually chatting with ALL 3 of the Lee brothers at the same time.
Thaddeus and Lucas who are in adelaide, and small fart matt back home in Malaysia.
i totally absolutely LOVE the 3 brothers. they rock my world.
lol dun ask me why i'm mentioning all this.
its just totally random.

been sleeping heaps for the past couple of days.
blame it on the weather!!
its so cold its threating to turn my toes gangrenous and just drop off one by one.
but 3 layers of clothings and a nice snuggle under the sheets on my 2meter high bed does the trick.

my sister told me she's gonna be running her company on her own now as she and her businesss partner have decided to go their own ways.
hope it all goes well from now though.
its not a very easy task to run a company on your own really.
although its just a small company, its been blessed with overwhelming projects and whatever u call it and its really been growing over the past 2 years.
aiyah... sure ok one la.
my annoying sister has the DNA of a champion.
and i have the DNA of a loser.
i work my butt off but she always sails through better than me.
don't i just hate her. grrrrr.
*winks*

my phone is totally bongkers
the lights don't go on when i slide it..
so yea.. if you text me at night.. there's a 50% chance i won't reply coz i can't see anything on the screen!!!
especially if i'm already nicely hibernating under my comforter in mid air..
as in my bed..

i went for a swim on monday..
it was such a cold day and plunging into the heated pool was just.... wow
but the moment i got out.. goodness... shiver shiver..
and worse.. they left the door like wide open!!
nonsense!!
it was like 10 degrees outside..
i ran like a naked kid from the pool to the shower!!
COLD K!!!

i'm such a bad swimmer.
never been a good one.
still remember those days when the group 5 boys can swim faster than me when i was already in group 1. LOL.
but oh well, it was good fun and hey it did benefit my fitness level for my other sports.
i should go for another swim today.
Got 5 swims to finish by the 13th of may or it'll all just be wasted.

gotta go to the library in a while.
got some partner work to do for the electives.
my results for the final exams won't be out till the 2nd week of may.
i hope it all goes good.

sometimes i think i can be absolutely selfish.
and inconsiderate. and the list goes on and on.
apparently i'm a good friend. puhleaaassseee.... pfft.

alrights! time for a shower and then its off to school!!
sorry for the boring post..
not being very creative with my words now.
oh well.

i need clean hands and a pure heart.

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.. proverbs 4:23

panjang

For the past couple of days i've constantly been finding myself thinking that maybe God made me taller and huger than most average girls (or shall i say all) so that i could be someone others could literally lean on when times get rough..


how random

but that's a really nice thought i must say

:)

well done boys. and the 2 girls.

9 of us went to tatachilla to set up for tmrw's camp earlier today
The boys: Ben, Zie, Yong Ling, Don, Abel, Yong, Ah Boon
The girls: Su Ling and myself

Setting up is NOT easy..
and these boys ( and many others) do this EVERY SINGLE WEEK
all i did was the deco..
which was NOTHING compared to setting up the stage, the spotlights, the amps, the chairs, the funny wires and testing the sound system..

*salutes*
well done boys

........

i'm at the verge of tears.

i just finished my exams yesterday.

it had been such a terrible sem.

i've never felt this stressed ever.

plus the need to juggle the pressure with so many other commitments threatened to send me off the boundaries of sanity.

just when i thought the exams were over for a while.

and that i could finally get some rest physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually from the non stop pressure since placement in january...

plus the whole excitement of going to camp.

our first oxygen camp which we've all worked so so hard towards..

what more, i've committed myself to dance, worship and games at camp............

camp is on the 23rd, 24th and 25th...

and here's my timetable for electives which start next monday..

Revision tutorial on epidemiology:

Thursday 24 April 10AM-12PM

Lectures on biomedical research methods:

Thursday 24 April 1-3PM

there goes camp...

as though we haven't had enough exams..

30 min written test (Assessment #1):

Monday, 28 April 2008

oh GOd.... i so need this camp............

a break from the books

one paper down.
One more to go.
i really thank God for his peace and strength to get through yesterday's paper.
And thanks to all the wishes and prayers from everyone!!!
It really helped me get a grip!!

What would i do without God and all you lovely peeps around me
*muacks*

neway.. camp is like a week away!!!!
BOY AM I EXCITED!!!
i must commend the publicity team for coming up with such awesome vids for the camp
and the skid at mamak night was like OOOOYYYOOOHHH
cekap

while i go back to my books..
enjoy another vid by the publicity team..
and be inspired to come for camp!!!!



i wonder how many times yong ling fell off the bed while trying to climb with the bag on his head.
see u tmrw after AP400 is done!!!

toodles!!
ps: this is all your fault wei jin